another precious life is gone. and that is more than sad for the family touched by this brutal death. for them it is devastating, potentially crippling. and it is final. i’m referring to the beating death of, Derrion Albert.

blogs and websites, news stations and social and civil rights orgs are all up in arms, and they well should be. but this fight is bigger even than the life it so viciously stole.

there is some tragic irony, even in the place where this brawl occurred. Chicago, a place so closely associated with our president. i’m disturbed by all of this because this year has been pregnant with change and electrified with a resurgence of hate and open bigotry.

i feel deep sorrow, because this beating carries some heavy significance and flies in the face of those who have gone before and those who remain today who’ve fought against the negative words, thoughts and presumptions often hurled against blacks.

a step backward in the march toward change. i’m heartbroken because this fight is a reflection of where my people are today. a hard pill to swallow for many of us who are and have lived a life of upward mobility.

but perhaps we are to blame. why is there a disconnect in our communities? we get educated, get money, get famous, get good jobs, and we essentially abandon our communities. we run far from the inner cities and point our crooked, bourgeoisie fingers at those who remain. we blame laziness, and lack of motivation.we never blame ourselves.

there is something to be said about the physical representation of inspiration. we, should be that. in the form or mentors, neighbors, church families. later for going home to our big houses in suburbia, to hide away and focus on us. i don’t know who said it, but we indeed have to be the change we wanna see. we can’t clutch our pearls and look from the sidelines waiting for “them people” to change.

i’m tired of black leaders only making noise when tragedies occur. please don’t get me wrong…there are people on the front lines, but not enough. churches and black people in general are so content with the status quo, that we are failing. isn’t anyone else tired of this?

we have to be hands on. we have to go back into our communities and inspire change. we have to look in the eyes of the poorest and most destitute of our children and see our own reflections. it is our responsibility to pull our people and our children up toward their best. no more crabs in a barrel.

if we don’t, no one will.

if we don’t, we have no right to say a word. we oughta just shut up and stay hidden in suburbia, in our offices, and in our sanctuaries and CHANGE nothing.

He said, “hey” real smooth and calm, kinda like…where u been?
he just started talking about his life and what he’d been doing, and all i could think of was the next time i’m gonna see him, and the last time…
the way he smells so good that i don’t wanna talk, i just wanna bury my nose in his skin. lol. i know it sounds funny, but when he’s next to me, i sniff him like i’m trying to find a clue. he just laughs, but never stops me.

how can he be so perfect and yet so wrong? i been trying to “quit” him for about 3 years now…even tho i’ve known him since i was 16.(a 13yr fact he won’t let me forget)

he told me he loved me and missed me. ♥
‘said he was going away to boot camp, and i couldn’t help but feel like i’d been punched in the stomach. but i didn’t let him know, didn’t even flinch. so i know i probably shouldn’t talk to him when he calls tonight and if he doesn’t call, i shouldn’t feel some typa way.

but man, he is a major weakness-gets me every time.

then saturday my group from church sang at a benefit concert. and today i had the great pleasure of attending the firehouse cafe. it’s a soulful little spot.got me thinkin about stoppin by on the regular, maybe grace the open mic?? maybe.

had some drama at the church over the week, and it just reminded me why i really can’t get wit church folx. and i love God…but church folx’ll make u cuss, fight, and quit. so i been really focusing on NOT focusing on them. u know? i’m really just trying to do what God told me to do and to be faithful serving.

anyway, i’ma keep keeping on and believing that it’s gon’ work out.

lemme go cuz Monday is quickly approaching. lol. i got homework, and cleaning, and what not to do…
oh the life of a “super” woman.

So the concept here relates to the many layers and textures of thoughts and emotions that make me. From the introspective way I view life, my spiritual walk and my insistence on being in love, to my journey through motherhood, school, and getting my body right.
There is always something to write about.

I like the idea of writing an introduction post…but prefer the idea of introducing myself post by post, essentially weaving this tapestry.

Come on and check me out from time to time and see what I’m all about. I invite your comments and critiques.